Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize