I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Actions speak louder than pants.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Randomize
