Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Randomize
