NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize