So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
