Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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