Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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