She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
and she was petting her beer can
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
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