Rock
Scissors
Fuck
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
