so that wasnt chicken after all
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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