So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize