Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
