I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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