If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
