Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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