Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
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