i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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