im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Randomize
