I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize