halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
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