He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
You are the jesus of drinking
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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