Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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