I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Randomize
