don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize