Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
