I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
