Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
