I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
