My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
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