Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
