i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Randomize
