I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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