We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Enjoy the penises
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
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