I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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