dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
