I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize