like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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