i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
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