I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
