it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Randomize
