i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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