the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
