I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
