Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
