I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I think your dad took our porno
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
