You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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