I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
