apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Randomize
