if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
