Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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