For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
