what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Randomize
