you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
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