I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize