Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Randomize
