Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
