Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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