He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize