did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
