Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
