but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
PANTIES FOUND
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