My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Randomize
