That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
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