I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
