He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
