An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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