If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Randomize
