Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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