I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
