its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Randomize
