Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Randomize
