Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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