10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
