Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
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