good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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