Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
