I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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