I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
