i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
