return my video game
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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