I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
You are the jesus of drinking
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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