love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
