I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
