When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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