my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
